Throwing some balls around

I’m tired of being subjugated to the elite’s greed and total lack of compassion for their fellow man. I want to rebel but don’t know how.  On internet I tried researching “guerrilla warfare for everyday life” but, once again, Google let me down.  However, a few vague ideas are starting to materialize. In the meantime, I’m getting the warrior within me in shape, psychological shape.

A warrior needs to feel strong.  Affirmations are good warm-ups (see Affirmation  posts).  Walking helps, too. Not only does it mellow out the stress, it’s also a form of meditation.  But I need more to combat the enemy—I need a weapon! No fire arms for me, though.  So what options do I have?

Finally, an idea. One night I couldn’t sleep because some jerks outside my building were making noise.  I yelled at them to stop but they just ignored me.  I thought about throwing water balloons at them but didn’t have any balloons.  That’s when I came up with the idea of throwing qi balls instead.  Unfortunately, I was low on qi and realized that I needed to get that stagnant energy flowing again if I wanted to fight back.

Part of my combat training now includes making qi balls every morning.

Qi Ball

It takes motion to activate motion. So I start by swaying my arms and shifting my weight.

Qi Ball

A few gi gong exercises help especially if you do them cumbia style!

Qi Ball

First I rub my palms together until I feel the heat.  Then I cup my hands as I move them back  and forth. Slowly the qi begins to form a ball.

Qi Ball

It won’t be long now before I’ve enough qi to throw some balls around!

 

drawing

Related: Taoist who lived to 118 years old Lu Zijian Grandmaster preforms amazing Wudang Martial Art Forms + Psychokinesis  warfare + video Creating Qi Ball , amazing energy practice of Qigong healing + REAL LIFE SHOCKING SUPERPOWER (CHI ENERGY) + Beginners Chi-gong/ Energy Training video
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Internal Landscapes

Excerpts from “The Diary of Luz Corazzini”

Monday:

This morning, while driving around inside my mind observing the scenery, I reflected on the ever changing landscape within me.  It seems as if every day, I’m someplace else.

she put a sailboat in her mind

Today my shapeshifting terrain has transformed me into a huge ocean that’s vast and empty just waiting to be explored.  So I put a boat in my brain  hoping to sail far away.

she dove into his ocean

Surrounded by depth, I was afraid to dive into infinity.  James Joyce worried about the effects of having loved and lost because it leaves one listless and without the energy necessary to throw the self into the ocean of another’s soul. Didn’t Joyce know that love is learning to swim again?

Wednesday:

A Walk in the Forest

This morning I woke up and found myself inside a forest.  The density disoriented me and made me feel claustrophobic.  So I looked up towards the sky.  Crown shyness kept the tree tops from touching…a sensation I well know.

Umberto Eco was walking next to me explaining how the reader is a traveler exploring the forest of literature. He said that storytelling helps us escape our daily anxieties.  And to give our life a narrative is to give it meaning. Ahh, how lovely to master the art of fiction.

The Exchanged Dendrites

Like a tree’s branches, my dendrites  seek to grow outward and not inward. But I can only branch out if I’m well rooted.

Friday:

she was devastated by the desert

Today I’m surrounded by the void. In this desert, survival seems so difficult sometimes. And the stress distorts my perception. To encourage me to go on, my mind created a mirage. That’s how I met Fata Morgana.

Fata Morgana

Fata Morgana is the name given to a special kind of mirage. The name comes from the Arthurian sorceress Morgan le Fay who’d studied magic under Merlin.  Morgan had a crush on Lancelot who had a crush on Queen Guinevere who was married to King Arthur who died once Morgan took his sword away.

Like a mirage, sometimes love is an illusion.

Sunday:

once on top, where do you go?

Last night I had a dream—I was climbing a mountain which, according to my dream interpretation book, means that I probably am trying to overcome some obstacles.  Unfortunately, I woke up before arriving at the top which means I haven’t achieved my goal.

I’ve been climbing and climbing for so long.  And while climbing, I’ve often asked myself; once on top, where do you go, what do you do? On top you can try  to touch the sky, look down on others, or enjoy a new point of view.

as above so below

Is the Hermetic concept of  “As Above, So Below” really so? That the microcosm and the macrocosm behave alike?  That what happens on one level of reality happens on all other levels as well?

So I tried looking up then tried looking down. But it just wasn’t the same.I can assure you that being on top is not the same as being below.

drawing

Related: James Joyce’s EXILES + Umberto Eco’s Six Walks in the Fictional Woods + dendrites + Fata Morgana + As Above, So Below + Hermes Trismegistus

 

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Interrogation

A diary provides a means for learning more about yourself because it gives you a place to articulate your feelings. Anchoring these feelings with words facilitates their examination.

Bird in a Cage, Bird in the Sky

A self-awareness diary needs intention and method. One method is that of self-interrogation. If you want to get answers, first you need to know what and how to ask. For those not experts in interrogation, why not consider police methods such as the frequently used John Reid technique.  Based on his many years of experience using the polygraph, Reid’s method suggests that the interrogation take place in a brightly lit small room with white unadorned walls furnished with only a small desk and three chairs, two for the interrogators and the other, very uncomfortable, for the suspect.

she waited to be innterrogated

Often the air-conditioning is turned on high, the suspect is not allowed to drink, eat, sleep or leave the room even though the interrogation can last for hours. After much questioning, the interrogators then unexpectedly go away living the suspect in isolation. Physically and mentally stressed out and exhausted, the suspect, even if innocent, is broken down to the point that he will confess to just about anything if he believes it will stop the entire interrogation and let him go home.

they gave her the third degree

Another method is the Kinesic technique which relies much on non-verbal communication.  The interrogator’s aim is to provoke the suspect into “revealing” themselves. So body language and facial expressions are carefully observed.

Eyes Expose Lies

But two World War II interrogators proved that you really can kill more flies with honey than with vinegar.  One was the Nazi Hanns Joachim Scharff.  Scharff was from a wealthy Prussian family who owned textile mills all over Germany.  Here he became an expert in sales techniques.  But when the war broke out, Scharff serendipitously wound up as an interrogator and was so successful that he became known as the  “Master Interrogator”.  After the war, Scharff became an American citizen and worked on Cinderella’s mosaic mural for Walt Disney.

Cinderella's Shoe

Then there was the American, Sherwood Ford Moran.  Having lived as a missionary in Japan, he was fluent with the language and knew the customs well. Furthermore, he was not in favor of military brutality and stripping people of their dignity. Moran’s technique was that of making the prisoner feel safe and respected. He would begin by asking the prisoner about himself and making the prisoner and his situation the theme of the interrogation and not the war and its needs. Moran would have the prisoner sit in a pleasant room where he provided them with something to eat and cigarettes.  When the prisoner felt relaxed, he would tranquilly answer many of Moran’s seemingly innocent questions.

In his later years, Moran, like Scharff, preferred art to Military Intelligence and wrote articles about Japanese sculpture and Asian artifacts.

Moral: make art not war.

* however, it must be noted that confinement alters behavior

 

Related:  Why The Reid Technique is Losing Ground to Non-confrontational Police Interview Methods  + The Kinesic  Interview Technique pdf + Hanns SCHARFF, The Master Interrogator video + Profile: Sherwood F. Moran + Walt the Quasi-Nazi: The Fascist History of Disney is Still Influencing American Life

drawing

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Social Engineering and Emoticons

It won’t be long  before a handful of billionaires will control the Western world. And Facebook is helping them out by collecting data on all of its users.  This data is subsequently sold, for example, to Cambridge Analytica. The data is then used to  create psychological profiles on millions of people with the precise intent of manipulating people’s behavior. Spooky, no?

It’s a kind of cognitive warfare that preys on our emotions. Often, when on FB, I, too, feel provoked.  The news, both fake and non, puts my biorhythms on the spin cycle. My first reaction is to externalize the primordial screams going on in my head.  And that’s exactly what these power thugs want—access to my emotions.

Below are a list of links that help explain these predators and their ignoble intentions.

The best way to keep from being used and manipulated would be to stop using Facebook altogether.  However, that would mean losing  routine contact with so many friends, family and blog buddies. Instead, I’ve opted for another solution.  Aside from posting as responsibly as possible, I’ve come up with some homemade emoticons.  That way I can continue to express myself without being easy prey for the predators and their logarithms.

#MyEmotionsBelongtoMe!

Here are some of my homemade emoticons.  Why don’t you make some, too?

          Baa Baa BaaBattySmile!

             Bow Wow'na canizzaClown

               ContactCool OffCorne Corne Bis Corne

Dance!explodingHappy Birthday!

Hot!Pinocchio!Need Light?

LoveOKayPeace SymbolPeace

Pepping EyeYuck!Pussy Hats

Roar!Still Crowing?Sad

SnakySpooky!Stink!

Stop!Thumbs Down!Trick

Yucky Ducky!ZombiesHolding On

 

Links mentioned aboveCambridge Analytica + Robert Mercer + social engineering + Tavistock Institute +  Artificial Intelligence and robots  + Renaissance Technology + Psyops + World’s eight richest people have same wealth as poorest 50% + Troll Farms + Ocean Score and Big Five personality traits + Tristan Harris + Facebook quizzes: What happens to your data? + How Facebook ‘Likes’ Could Be Used to Make Personality-Based Hiring Decisions + Facebook And It’s Connections To The C.I.A. And D.A.A.R.P.A. by Brian S Staveley + Facebook scanner Stalk Scan  + The Growing Addiction To Heroin In Silicon Valley

I can understand the use of AI and robots to do manual labor, but to substitute artists as well??????    A New AI is Writing Perverse Horror Fiction + How A.I. Is Creating Building Blocks to Reshape Music and Art + Will Robots Replace Artists In The Future? Call it Jean-Michel Botsquiat + Ok What’s Wrong With Art: Artificial Intelligence Will Replace Artists  +     

+ NET STATES RULE THE WORLD; WE NEED TO RECOGNIZE THEIR POWER +What is the difference between Algorithm and Logarithm ? +“Smart City” in China uses AI to control citizens + How Facebook, Google and Twitter ’embeds’ helped Trump in 2016 + More Algorithms…..Intelligence May Stem From a Basic Algorithm in the Human Brain + SAUDI ARABIA JUST BECAME THE FIRST COUNTRY TO GRANT CITIZENSHIP TO A ROBOT

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Diary Writing and other Spiritual Practices

The other morning, as I was going down the porch stairs loaded with plates, my neighbor called out: προσοχή! (attention).  To make sure I didn’t fall and break something, I needed to pay attention. So I concentrated and carefully climbed down the stairs.  Without even knowing it, I was practicing a spiritual exercise.

Pierre Hadot's Philosophy

Προσοχή (Prosochē) is the art of attention, the practice of being aware of the moment and focusing on it. For the ancient Greeks who wanted to live their life philosophically, this attention was one of the main spiritual exercises.

Scholar Pierre Hadot carefully studied the ancient Greeks being especially attentive to philosophy.  To be a philosopher was one thing but to live life philosophically was something else. Theory only has value if it can be put into practice.  Like studying a foreign language—at a certain point, you stop studying and start speaking. You move from abstract to tangible. Otherwise, what’s the point of studying.

Pierre Hadot's Philosophy

In the ancient world, philosophy was used as a means of knowing oneself and of making self-transformations. Spiritual exercises were needed to ensure transformation. And the most important exercise was that of attention a.k.a mindfulness.

Liberating the self’s focus on past or future is necessary so that we can fully immerse ourselves in the present. Because experience is created in the present. To train the mind to Be Here Now, below are two “connecting to the moment” exercises:

  1. concentrating on our breathing as we inhale and exhale
  2. if we are, for example, washing dishes, we must be totally involved with the activity both physically and mentally thinking of nothing other than the plates we are washingPierre Hadot's PhilosophyAnother important spiritual practice is that of learning to dialogue which, during Greek times, was the main means of propagating of ideas. Dialogue provides us with a means of interacting with others.  By learning how to dialogue with others, you learn how to dialogue with yourself and vice versa.

Pierre Hadot's Philosophy

 

Every spiritual exercise is dialogical in that it communicates the self to itself.  Thus to dialogue with one’s self is a spiritual exercise.

Another spiritual exercise is “the view from above” meant to provoke your perception. Looking at something from a different viewpoint will give you a new point of view. Imagine yourself lying on the bed looking around your room.  Then imagine yourself flying around your room. What you see over the bed is not the same as what you see in bed.

Pierre Hadot's Philosophy

 

Plotinus wrote that one should go inside the self and take a good look.  And, if you don’t see what you like, then you need to do as the sculptor does with a statue—chisel and polish until you get the look you want.  Never stop sculpting your own statue.

Pierre Hadot's Philosophy

Diary writing can also be considered a spiritual exercise. Because it gives you the possibility of focusing in on the moment and of creating a dialogue with yourself. It is a way of collecting and organizing your thoughts.

Our thoughts make us and thus thinking transforms us. And it’s the way we think that determines whether or not we are happy. In the words of Marcus Aurelius, the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. And keeping a diary helps us keep track of those thoughts and the direction they take us in.

drawing

Bibliography: Philosophy as a Way of Life video  +  What is ancient philosophy? Online text + Hadot, P. Philosophy as a Way of Life. Malden, Mass. Blackwell Publishing. 1995  +  hypomnemata, writings meant to assist the memory, became popular in Classical Greece

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Carolina’s Diary

Carolina Maria de Jesus

Carolina Maria de Jesus  (1914-1977), born in a poor Brazilian agricultural area, at the age of seven was given the opportunity by a wealthy woman to go to school. Carolina quickly learned to read and write and dropped out of school after only two years. When her mother died, she was forced to move to the favelas of Sao Paulo. There she constructed a house made from trash.  She also went to the dumps to collect paper to sell as a means of supporting herself and her family.  Carolina kept old notebooks for herself and began keeping a diary.

Carolina Maria de Jesus

Carolina wrote that poverty and desperation caused people to do desperate things. Ethics and principals were mutilated and hunger made good people do bad things.

Carolina also wrote about her neighbors in the favela.  The neighbors, illiterate, hated her for writing especially since she often threatened to write about them in her “book”.  One day at a playground, a journalist heard Carolina threaten a gang disturbing the children.  She yelled at them to stop otherwise she’d write about them in her book.  The journalist, Audalio Dantas, asked to see this book.  At first Carolina was hesitant then showed it to him.  Dantas was amazed and had his newspaper publish a part of it.  The story caused much animation which led to the publication of the entire diary  entitled “The Garbage Place”.  It became a bestseller and the success permitted her to move her family out of the favelas.  Nevertheless, the poor people hated her for her success and the wealthy wanted her out ot their neighborhood. Even fame created havoc in Carolina’s life.

She was easily infatuated by men and liked sex. Carolina had 3 children by 3 different men but had no intention of every marrying having seen too much domestic violence.

Carolina Maria de Jesus

Excerpts from Carolina’s diary:

August 2  I dressed the boys and sent them to school. I went out and wandered around trying to get some money. I passed the slaughterhouse, picked up a few bones. Some women were pawing through the garbage looking for edible meat. They claimed it was only for dogs. That’s what I say–it’s only for dogs. . . .

I went to the shoemaker to collect his wastepaper. One of them asked me if my book was communistic. I replied that it was realistic. He cautioned me that it was not wise to write of reality.

Carolina Maria de Jesus

August 12  I left my bed at 6:30 and went to get water. There was a long line. The worst thing about it is that malice is the main subject. There was a Negress there who acted as if she’d been vaccinated by a phonograph needle. She talked about her daughter and son-in-law who were constantly fighting. And Dona Clara had to listen to it because she was the only one who was paying attention. Lately it has become very difficult to get water, because the amount of people in the favela has doubled. And there is only one spigot.

August 15 The people were waiting for Anselm to make an appearance so they could beat him up. Men and women had collected for the beating. I heard it said that Anselmo had jumped over the fence and got out the back way. I said that I would like to be a man, because I too would like to be able to break and beat. Then a man replied: “I’d like to be a woman, but only during the day.” And everybody laughed. Lalau and his mother-in-law had a fight. She hit him with the broom handle. She ran and he chased her. They were drunk.

September 19  At the slaughterhouse they don’t put garbage in the streets anymore because of the women who look for rotten meat and eat it.

Carolina Maria de Jesus

November 5  I went to the store and sold an empty bottle to Senhor Eduardo for three cruzeiros so I could pay on the bus. When I got to the bus stop I met Toninho. He works at the Saraiva Bookshop. I told him: “That’s it, Toninho, the publishers in Brazil don’t print what I write because I’m poor and haven’t got any money to pay them. That’s why I’m going to send my novels to the United States.” He gave me the addresses of some editors that I should contact.

December 28  I lit a fire, put water on to boil, and started to wash the dishes and examine the walls. I found a dead rat. I’d been after him for days, and set a rat trap. But what killed him was a black cat. He belongs to Senhor Antonio Sapateiro. The cat is a wise one. She doesn’t have any deep loves and doesn’t let anyone make a slave of her. And when she goes away she never comes back, proving that she has a mind of her own. If I talk about a cat it is because I am happy that she has killed the rat that was ruining my books.

Carolina Maria de Jesus

“Carolina is not really the main personage in her diary.  It is a bigger character–Hunger.  From the first to the last page he appears with an unnerving consistency.  The other characters are consequences of this Hunger: alcoholism, prostitution, violence, and murder. “

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Bibliography:  Child of the Dark: The Diary Of Carolina Maria De Jesus . Penguin Putnam. New York. 1962.

Related: Excerpts from 1958 diary

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Dawn Powell (1896-1965)

Her mother died when she was a little girl.  To fill in the void, Dawn kept diaries.  Then her father remarried an unpleasant woman who vented her frustrations by destroying everything Dawn had written.

her home was far away

A diary is a confident, a friend who is there to keep one company in the moments of despair and loneliness.  To destroy someone’s diary is to scar their soul. Survival instincts pushed Dawn to leave her father’s home and move in with a loving aunt.  But the damage had been done.  Eternally displaced within, Dawn would later write about her childhood in fictional form with the title “My Home Is Far Away”.

She typed all night long

In her early 20s, Dawn left her native Ohio to move to New York City where she married Joseph Gousha, ex-poet and copywriter.  The couple lived together in Greenwich Village where, wrote Dawn, “all night long typewriters click, people sing in the streets, hurdy gurdies go all day and the laundry boy reads Turgenev.”

cocktails made her sociable

Dawn was socially active and went to numerous cocktail parties were she hung out with the likes of Edmund Wilson, John Dos Passos, Dorothy Parker, and Nabokov. She was also friends with Ernest Hemingway. But, nevertheless, she felt alone.  That’s why, Dawn said, she kept a diary—simply because she had no one to talk to.

Loneliness hurts.

Dawn wrote and published much fiction but never became truly successful as a writer.  Maybe, in part, because of her struggles related to her handicapped son, her problems with alcohol, and, towards the end, the despair of a tumor.  So Dawn was ignored by the literary world until Gore Vidal noticed her.  Vidal wrote an article for the New York Review of Books stating that Dawn was overly underrated.  Music critic Tim Page read the article and was mesmerized.   Page, who suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, became obsessed with Dawn.  Having read that she’d kept diaries, he tried to track them down and eventually learned that they were in the hands of a cousin in Ohio.  After much effort and money, Page liberated the forgotten diaries then carefully edited them for publication.  He even tried to sell the original diaries but had no offers.

Dawn died in 1965 at the age of 69.  All of her work was out-of-print. And her diaries, once full of prose, had assumed  an agenda like attitude.

Here are a few diary excerpts:

their beds were pushed together

June 23, 1921  I want so much for my lover. At night when our beds are drawn close together I waken and see his dear yellow head on the pillow — sometimes his arm thrown over on my bed — and I kiss his hand, very softly so that it will not waken him.

solitude kept her company

March 23, 1944 “For a writer or artist there is nothing to equal the elation of escaping into solitude. The excited feeling of stolen rapture I feel on closing the door of this little room up here, knowing no one can find me, no one will speak to me.”

writing is like making a bird’s nest

October 8, 1954 “Writing a novel is like building a bird’s nest – and the bird is a magpie.”

 

Diaries are friends.  But some friends are better than others.

drawing

Related: The Diaries of Dawn Powell + Vidal, Gore. “Dawn Powell, the American Writer”. The New York Review of Books. 5/11/1987 +  in 2015, 50 years after her death, Dawn was included in the New York State Writers Hall of Fame

 

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